Grief is an emotion that I have only heard used in the context of death. When someone close to you passes on, it is common to expect those who are close to the diseased to grieve. That traditionally comes with deep rooted rituals that mark the event.
Recently, I have been wondering about grief. I did not know that it was used to describe loss of any kind and it does not necessarily have to be a death.
I experienced true grief for the first time this year. Due to the chronic pain that I started to experience, I had to redefine the list of things that I am able to do because of it. In my mind it was a trivial task. I made a physical list of thing that I have done, things I want to do and things I want to do but may not be able to. I did not realize at the time that compiling this list would me taking me deep within myself.
With very little effort, I saw the dreams that I had for my life slowly move from the can do to the can not do list. With each one, my heart sank deeper and deeper. Keep in mind that these realities had been apparent for a while but I did not give myself permission to be okay with it. For the first time, I was okay with being depressed. I was okay with sitting in the sadness that growing up entailed. I was okay with guiding myself through the grieving process as I figured out what step would be next.
There is really nothing wrong with experiencing sadness and letting it consume your every thought. However it becomes a problem if it persists and you are unable to rise from the ashes of sadness as a Phoenix does.
Have you let yourself grieve certain important losses in your life?
Tomorrows topic: Becoming you – I am okay with myself